


This is why Group Chats have been banned.

by Heroine_Lestrange



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Crack, F/F, Humor, Memes, Texting, Vines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 9,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26499235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heroine_Lestrange/pseuds/Heroine_Lestrange
Summary: Alex: Yeah, you fill her office with flowers one day and a week later you walk into an office filled with pickles named DaveLena: Kara wouldn't do thatKara: ….…………..Cracktastic group chat fic.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 285
Kudos: 638





	1. Pickles

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #176** **

****Kara:**** Deez

****Winn:**** What?

****James:**** You cant just start a group chat with that

****Alex:**** ESPECIALLY NOT AT 3 IN THE MORNING

****Lucy:**** Nutz HA

****James:**** This is why we dismantled the last group chat

****Maggie:**** Really? I thought it was because of the pickle incident

****Lena:**** The pickle incident?

****Winn:**** Was it a pickle or an avocado?

****Lucy:**** Was it FR E SH A VOCA DO?

****Kara:**** RIP vine, gone but not forgotten.

****James:**** No it was a pickle

****Maggie:**** Definitely a pickle

****Lena:**** What happened with the pickle

****Lucy:**** Remember last year when Alex forgot Maggie's birthday?

****Alex:**** I DID NOT FORGET!!!!

****Maggie:**** Yeah you did babe

****Alex:**** Don’t call me out like that!

****Lucy:**** Whatever, anyway what happened was Alex needed a gift ASAP and it was like 2 in the morning and all the stores were already closed. Long story short, Kara creates this group chat to help put together a last minute gift but instead of doing something romantic she asks for pickle donation. SHE MADE A PICKLE BOUQUET FOR MAGGIE!!

****Kara:**** It was romantic

****Maggie:**** It really wasn’t

****Lucy:**** And to make it worse she added googly eyes to the pickles

****Alex:**** It was a hideous abomination

****James:**** And its beady little eyes would follow you wherever you went

****Lena:**** I thought you took Maggie to Alaska for her birthday?

****Alex:**** That trip was more of an apology than a gift

****Lucy:**** No gift can make up from the emotional scarring caused by Dave

****Lena:**** Dave?

****Lucy:**** The pickle bouquet

****Lena:**** Was named Dave?

****Maggie:**** Ask Kara

****Kara:**** He looked like a Dave, I think he was cute.

****Lucy:**** You would, Lena if I was you I would run

****Alex:**** Yeah, you fill her office with flowers one day and a week later you walk into an office filled with pickles named Dave

****Lena:**** Kara wouldn't do that

****Kara:**** ….…………..

****James:**** Kara no!

****Winn:**** Kara no!

****Alex:**** Kara no!

****Kara:**** Kara yes!

****Kara:**** Unrelated question but does anyone have any pickles?


	2. Surprise

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #77** **

****Kara:**** I have gathered you all here on this momentous day for an important announcement

 ** **Lucy:**** Did someone die?

 ** **Alex:**** Not yet…..

 ** **Alex:**** That was a threat

 ** **Lucy:**** Yeah no, I got that

 ** **Winn:**** Pretty self explanatory really

 ** **James:**** So to what do we owe this eulogy

 ** **Lucy:**** Winn’s sex life?

 ** **Winn:**** Lucy’s legal career?

 ** **Alex:**** Alex’s capacity to deal with this?

 ** **Winn:**** Ooh self-burn!!

 ** **Alex:**** Not a self-burn, just a regular burn

 ** **Kara:**** Okay but back to my thing….

 ** **Kara:**** It’s Lena’s birthday next week and I think we should throw her a surprise party

 ** **James:**** Nope

 ** **Alex:**** No

 ** **Lucy:**** Yeah I third that motion

 ** **Kara:**** Why?!? I thought you guys liked her!

 ** **Alex:**** She’s not the problem. You always take these things to far Kara

 ** **Kara:**** No I don’t!!!!!!

 ** **Alex:**** 2 years ago at Winn’s surprise party, the fireworks?

 ** **Kara:**** Oh please, who doesn’t love fireworks

 ** **Alex:**** INDOORS KARA!!!

 ** **James:**** The firefighters put you on a list

 ** **Kara:**** How was I supposed to know that would happen?!

 ** **Maggie:**** Logic?

 ** **Alex:**** YOU ARE ON A LIST!

 ** **Kara:**** It was a just a formality Alex!

 ** **Alex:**** KARA!! YOUR NAME IS THE ONLY ONE ON THE LIST!

 ** **Winn:**** It was a great birthday though, I got to ride in a firetruck

 ** **Kara:**** See! I’m great at birthdays

 ** **Winn:**** Probably less great that my apartment burnt down

 ** **Kara:**** :(

 ** **Lucy:**** Why don’t you get naked and wait for her in her apartment?

 ** **Kara:**** Why would I do that?

 ** **Lucy:**** ….……………..

 ** **Maggie:**** ….………………….

 ** **Kara:**** Is that a thing best friends do now?

 ** **Lucy:**** ….….yes

 ** **Alex:**** Lucy…

 ** **Maggie:**** It’s the latest craze, everyone on Tumblr is doing it

 ** **Alex:**** Kara, don’t do that!

 ** **Lena:**** May I interject?

 ** **Winn:**** Do it Kara

 ** **Maggie:**** Yeah it would be legitness

 ** **Lucy:**** Shut up Maggie

 ** **Maggie:**** I have a gun

 ** **Lucy:**** So do I

 ** **Maggie:**** Mines bigger

 ** **Lucy:**** …….carry on Maggie

 ** **Lena:**** Guys…..

 ** **Kara:**** No one has any better ideas

 ** **Alex:**** Literally anything would be better than this

 ** **Winn:**** So……set her apartment on fire v naked Kara?

 ** **James:**** Put it to a vote

 ** **Lucy:**** Kara

 ** **James:**** Kara

 ** **Maggie:**** Kara

 ** **Lena:**** Kara

 ** **Winn:**** Fire truck

 ** **Alex:**** Brain bleach

 ** **Kara:**** Awesome, the council has decided. Good meeting guys!!!!:)

 ** **Lena:****???? I don’t think I'm supposed to be here


	3. Tik Tok

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #48** **

****Cat:**** Which one of you idiots is responsible for the Tik Tak account dedicated to me. To clarify, it is called “kitty kat thirst trap”and I know it’s one of you because none of my other staff members would have the gall or stupidity to do something this juvenile. If no one comes forward I will fire each and every one of you.

****Winn:**** Tik Tok?

****Maggie:**** What the hell is happening

****Lucy:**** How can you fire me? I don’t even work for you anymore

****Cat:**** Simple, Lane you have your job back. If I don’t find the person responsible, you will be fired.

****Lucy:**** As a lawyer I feel like this is wrong but I also don’t care enough to argue so………yeah whatever. See you on Monday I guess

****Lena:**** Kara……did you do this?

****Kara:**** ….…..No

****James:**** Why would you do this?

****Kara:**** I didn’t, I was even in the office when the last one was filmed

****James:**** What?

****Kara:**** What?

****Winn:**** How do you know when it was filmed

****Kara:**** Haha…..totally joking, that was a joke you guys

****Lena:**** KARA!

****Kara:**** Fine

****James:**** So it is you?

****Kara:**** NO! I just you know……

****Lucy:**** Spit it out, some of us have jobs not to get to

****Kara:**** I follow it

****Lena:**** Follow what?

****Kara:**** Cat’s Tik Tok

****James:**** But why?

****Kara:**** BECAUSE IM A LESBIAN, OKAY!!!!

****Lucy:**** Lesbian? I thought you were American?

****Maggie:**** Bad timing

****Lucy:**** Perfect timing, that joke was golden

****Kara:**** Guys! I just came out, can we please focus on me for 3 seconds

****Lucy:**** Is it coming out if everyone already knew?

****Kara:**** You did not know

****Lucy:**** We really did

****Maggie:**** It was the flannel

****Winn:**** And the very specific tumblr obsessions with fictional lesbians

****Alex:**** And the way you look at Cat and Lena and Lucy and Leslie and Siobhan

****Kara:**** I did not look at Siobhan!!!:(

****Cat:**** You most certainly did

****Lucy:**** Classic enemies to lovers story but instead of lovers it was just enemies again

****Winn:**** Enemies to enemies?

****James:**** You hit on my ex-girlfriend in front of me

****Lucy:**** Why wouldn't she? Have you seen me?

****Cat:**** As touching as this all is, it doesn't answer my question. Hope you all enjoy unemployment, I hear it's lovely this time of year.

****Alex:**** FINE!!! IT WAS ME

****Kara:**** ALEX!?!?!

****Maggie:**** Babe, what the hell?

****Alex:**** It started off as a joke, and then it may of spiraled out of control. I may have underestimated the draw of lesbian Tik Tok to an angry Cat Grant.

****Kara:**** How did you even get this footage?

****Alex:**** I work for a top secret government facility, it wasn’t difficult

****Lucy:**** That’s so weird Alex, can you forward me the link?

****Lena:**** Me too…......for research purposes

****Lucy:**** HA GAY!!!!

****Cat:**** Danvers, this is unexpected.

****Alex:**** You can’t fire me

****Cat:**** No but I can hire you. Congratulations Danvers, you have just been hired as my senior social media liaison. It turns out this is doing wonders for my reputation, so you may continue.

****Alex:**** What if I decline?

****Cat:**** This is not optional, either you accept or I sue. Lucy can draw up the necessary paperwork on Monday.

****Alex:**** See you on Monday Lucy

****Cat:**** Good choice, now get back to work! I don’t pay you all to sit around and text.

****Lucy:**** Link?

****Lucy:**** Guys?!?

****Lucy:**** Anyone….


	4. MILF

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #33** **

****Kara:**** Hey guys, quick question

 ** **Kara:**** Is it possible to get a restraining order for a hologram

 ** **Lena:**** Against a hologram?

 ** **Kara:**** No, for a hologram

 ** **James:**** I don’t get it

 ** **Kara:**** Like, if the hologram needs protection from a person

 ** **Lucy:**** I did not go to law school for this

 ** **Maggie:**** I don’t think the law protects holograms, why?

 ** **Kara:**** My mom’s hologram is being stalked

 ** **Lucy:**** Shut up Kara

 ** **Kara:**** No Lucy! You cannot silence me! I will reveal the truth!!!

 **Lucy:** Bold of you to assume that I care enough to be embarrassed

 **Kara:** Lucy’s in love with my mom's hologram!

 ** **Lucy:**** I mean I wouldn't say love because she’s just a glorified search engine………however she is definitely a MILF

 ** **Kara:**** Eww, I don’t need to hear you talk about my mom like that

 ** **Alex:**** Astra is pretty hot, so I get where you’re coming from

 ** **Lucy:**** She’s not really my type

 ** **Alex:**** Because of her personality?

 ** **Lucy:**** Nah, physically she just doesn’t do it for me

 ** **Winn:**** But……

 ** **Kara:**** Wait, what?!

 ** **Alex:**** They’re literally twins

 ** **Lucy:**** Are they though?

 ** **Alex:**** Yes, I thought it would be obvious from there identical faces

 ** **Lucy:**** I think we’re just going to have to agree to disagree on this one

 ** **Alex:**** No, because you are 100% WRONG

 ** **Lena:**** Your mom is really hot though

 ** **Kara:**** Really Lena?!? Really? You want to go there? Fine! Let’s all discuss how hot your mom is!!!!

 ** **Maggie:**** Lillian Luthor could step on me any day

 ** **Lucy:**** She makes hate crimes sexy

 ** **Lena:**** What is wrong with you people?!

 ** **James:**** I don’t know, honestly this seems pretty tame for a Wednesday chat

 ** **Winn:**** Discussing how hot someone's dead mom is does seem pretty dark

 ** **Kara:**** Don’t forget Lena’s hot terrorist mom

 ** **Lena:**** Yes because how could we forget that?

 ** **Lucy:**** Just to be clear, I wasn't objectifying Kara’s dead mom. I was objectifying Kara’s hologram mom

 ** **Kara:**** Gee thanks Lucy, I feel so much better

 ** **Lucy:**** You’re welcome :)

 ** **Maggie:**** So………Alex’s mom is pretty hot

 ** **Alex:**** MAGGIE!!!

 ** **Maggie:**** I’m just saying!

 ** **Alex:**** Don’t!

 ** **Winn:**** Also, she’s not dead or a terrorist

 ** **Maggie:**** She is definitely the MILF frontrunner

 ** **Lucy:**** That’s not saying much, the bar is pretty low

 ** **Kara:**** Should we put it to a vote?

 ** **Lena:**** Definitely not

 ** **Kara:**** Should we put whether we should have a vote to a vote?

 ** **Alex:**** That’s it, I’m deleting this chat


	5. Dating Council

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #88** **

****Lucy:**** I’m on date with a super hot red head but something about her is……….shady

****Maggie:**** What’s shady is you texting while on a date

****Lucy:**** She’s in the bathroom, so convene the dating advice council

****Kara:**** Dating Council Activated!!

****Alex:**** You’re both idiots

****Lena:**** So what’s the problem with this one?

****Lucy:**** What’s that supposed to mean?

****Winn:**** It means that the last date was really passionate about her high school glee club, despite being 24

****Kara:**** Aww, I love glee

****Alex:**** We know

****James:**** Then there was the international thief

****Lena:**** Marginally better than the glee date

****Lucy:**** That wasn’t my fault, my sister set that one up

****Kara:**** OMG does anyone remember the fedora guy

****Alex:**** HA

****Winn:**** Milady…..

****Lena:**** Still better than the glee date

****Lucy:**** Is there a point to this?

****Alex:**** Yes, you have terrible taste

****Winn:**** Truly horrific

****James:**** Seriously guys?

****Maggie:**** Don’t worry James, there’s always an exception to the rule

****Maggie:**** It’s not you but maybe it’s the redhead

****Lucy:**** Zelena

****Kara:**** Aspirin

****Lucy:**** What?

****Alex:**** ….……

****James:****?!?

****Kara:**** I thought we were listing medications?

****Lucy:**** No, that’s her name

****Lena:**** Her name………is Zelena?

****Maggie:**** I mean, I guess it’s a name

****Lucy:**** Thanks for that vote of confidence

****Winn:**** So where’s she from?

****Lucy:**** Well her accent is clearly English but she says she’s from Oz

****Maggie:**** She’s Australian?

****Kara:**** Are you sure you didn’t mix up the accents?

****Lucy:**** I’m not an idiot

****Alex:**** ….…….

****Lucy:**** But the Australian thing would explain a lot

****Winn:**** Like what?

****Lucy:**** Her pet monkeys

****Kara:**** HER WHAT?

****Lena:**** Monkeys?

****Kara:**** LUCY YOU BETTER LOCK THAT SHIT DOWN!?!

****Lena:**** Kara, please calm down

****Kara:**** MONKEYS LENA!! SHE HAS MONKEYS?!?!

****Lucy:**** And

****Kara:**** AND YOU CAN HAVE THE RING BEARER AT YOUR WEDDING BE A MONKEY?!?!?

****Winn:**** IN A SUIT?!?!

****Kara:**** EXACTLY?!?!?!?!?

****James:**** So………moving on

****Lucy:**** Yeah, not exactly feeling marriage on the first date

****Maggie:**** Not everyone is a U haul lesbian like Alex

****Alex:**** I’m ride or die

****Lucy:**** More like ride or cry

****Winn:**** Stop! You almost made me drop my croissant

****Kara:**** You have a croissant?

****Winn:**** No

****Kara:**** So you’re a liar?

****Winn:**** It’s just an expression Kara

****Kara:**** ….……..

****Winn:**** Fine! If you come over you can have half

****Kara:**** Awesome :)

****Kara:**** Dating Council Adjourned!!

****Lucy:**** What! You’ve haven't given me any advice

****Kara:**** Yeah we did, marry the monkey lady

****Lucy:**** ….…………..

****Lucy:**** Well, I won’t be doing this again 


	6. Office Romance

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #24** **

****Siobhan:**** What is this?

 ** **Maggie:**** It’s hell

 ** **Kara:**** So, you’ll fit in just fine

 ** **Siobhan:**** I will stab you

 ** **Kara:**** Just try it

 ** **Siobhan:**** Excuse me?…….was that a threat?

 ** **Kara:**** No, a promise

 ** **Winn:**** It’s not though, is it?

 ** **Lucy:**** Yeah, that’s not actually a promise Kara

 ** **Lena:**** Not even a threat really

 ** **Alex:**** Hers however was definitely a threat

 ** **Siobhan:**** Yes it was

 ** **Kara:**** Guys……..stop embarrassing me in front of Siobhan!?!?!

 ** **Siobhan:**** What do you idiots even want?

 ** **Alex:**** Kara has a crush on you

 ** **Lena:**** Wait, what?

 ** **Kara:**** NOOOOOOOO!?!?!?

 ** **Kara:**** Ha ha April fools, totally got you all!!!

 ** **Siobhan:**** It’s February

 ** **Kara:**** Yes……..

 ** **Siobhan:**** Anyway I know about your crush because you constantly stare at my ass

 ** **Kara:**** Only because I’m trying to see where you got your pants!!!!

 ** **Siobhan:**** I only wear dresses to the office

 ** **Kara:**** ………..yeah

 ** **Maggie:**** So, are you interested in having an office fling with little Danvers?

 ** **Lena:**** What is happening?

 ** **Winn:**** I feel uncomfortable

 ** **Alex:**** Get over it Winn!

 ** **Winn:**** I am so not over it Alex!

 ** **James:**** It was only one date

 ** **Winn:**** One incredible date

 ** **Siobhan:**** Meh…

 ** **Winn:**** Seriously? We went to the Superman museum

 ** **Lucy:**** So now we know why there wasn’t a second date

 ** **Siobhan:**** Thank you!

 ** **James:**** I think it’s romantic

 ** **Lucy:**** You would

 ** **Alex:**** So back to the topic at hand

 ** **Lucy:**** Siobhan and Kara sitting in a tree F I G H T I N G

 ** **Maggie:**** Pure romance

 ** **Lucy:**** I’m already outlining my enemies to enemies fanfic

 ** **Lucy:**** The second enemies portion is just hateful dating

 ** **James:**** What does that mean?

 ** **Lucy:**** I'm honestly not sure

 ** **Siobhan:**** This really is hell

 ** **Alex:**** We warned you

 ** **Siobhan:**** Anyway it’s not happening, I’m already involved in an office romance

 ** **Winn:**** Toby with the moustache?

 ** **James:**** Ukulele Steve?

 ** **Lucy:**** I hate that guy, he always plays wonder wall at the Christmas party

 ** **Alex:**** Kelly with no real distinctive features?

 ** **Kara:**** Poor Kelly :(

 ** **Siobhan:**** No, no and no. I don’t sleep with the help, I go straight for the top.

 ** **Lucy:**** NO!?!??!

 ** **Siobhan:**** Yes

 ** **Winn:**** NOOOOO?!?!?!

 ** **Kara:**** I don’t get it

 ** **Lucy:**** She’s hooking up with CAT!!!!

 ** **Siobhan:**** Yes I am

 ** **Kara:**** HOW?!?!

 ** **Siobhan:**** Usually bent over her desk

 ** **Kara:**** ………….

 ** **Maggie:**** I am so jealous

 **Lucy:** Same

 ** **Alex:**** Of who?

 ** **Maggie:**** Yes

 **Lucy:** Same

 ** **Kara:****!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  
  
 ** **Lena:**** Kara?

 ** **Kara:****!?!?!?!??!?!?!!??!?  
  
 ** **Lena:**** I think you broke Kara


	7. Halloween

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #16** **

****Kara:**** Halloween party this weekend!!

****Kara:**** Hope everyone has their costumes ready

****Alex:**** DAMMIT KARA!

****Kara:**** What?

****Alex:**** You know what

****Kara:**** I wouldn't ask if I did

****Alex:**** ITS MARCH!!

****Kara:**** Yep

****Winn:**** And Halloween is in October

****Kara:**** Yep

****Lucy:**** So…..?

****Kara:**** So?

****Winn:**** How are you having a Halloween party in March?

****Kara:**** It’s my half Halloween celebration

****Maggie:**** That’s not a thing

****Kara:**** Of course it is, I’m doing it

****Lena:**** With reasoning like that, who could even argue

****Alex:**** I’m not coming

****Maggie:**** Yes, you are

****Alex:**** I am coming

****Lena:**** That’s what she said!

****Lucy:**** Or in Winn’s case, what she didn’t say

****Kara:**** BUUURRRRNNN!!!

****Winn:**** W H I P P E D

****Lucy:**** Kinky

****Maggie:**** Oh trust me, it is

****James:**** …...and they were roommates

****Lucy:**** OMG THEY WERE ROOMMATES  
 ****

****Kara:**** So, I have dibs on Xena

****Lena:**** Dibs on Gabrielle

****Lucy:**** Why would you be Gabrielle when you could be Sharpay?

****Lena:**** Why would I want to be a dog?

****Winn:**** I mean, you’re not wrong

****Winn:**** But you’re also not right

****Lucy:**** Buffy?

****Alex:**** You’re more of a Harmony

****Lucy:**** Thank you

****Alex:**** Not a compliment

****Lucy:**** ….……..

****Lucy:**** Yes it is

****Lena:**** Who wants to go as the charmed ones?

****Maggie:**** Old charmed or new charmed?

****Kara:**** THERE IS A NEW CHARMED!!!! WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS?!?!

****Winn:**** Dibs Leo

****Alex:**** Lol, hell no

****Winn:**** Cole?

****Alex:**** ….………………

****Lena:**** I’m Prue

****Kara:**** HOW DARE YOU STAND WHERE SHE STOOD!!!!

****Lena:**** What the hell?

****Alex:**** Kara has very strong feelings about Shannen Doherty

****Lucy:**** Heather Duke is my soulmate

****James:**** Duke is terrible human being

****Aex:**** So she probably is Lucy’s soulmate

****Lucy:**** Thank you

****Alex:**** Still not a compliment

****Winn:**** Brenda 90210, all day everyday!

****Maggie:**** That’s your costume?

****Winn:**** ….…………..yeah why not

****Alex:**** I’m going as Milla Jovich in Resident Evil

****Lena:**** Alice?

****Alex:**** No, Milla Jovich!

****James:**** The actress?

****Alex:**** DID I STUTTER?!!

****Kara:**** Shannen Doherty was also in Mallrats

****Lena:**** Really Kara?

****Kara:**** Just saying…….

****Lucy:**** You should dress up as a potato

****Kara:**** Why?

****Lucy:**** Because……….a potato flew around my room before you came

****Winn:**** HA

****Kara:**** I hate you but……….

****Kara:**** YES!!!

****Lucy:**** If Lena goes as the fan it can be a couples costume

****Lena:**** …………………………………………NO


	8. MILF #2

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #178** **

****Lillian:**** I received a package today, which is impressive as I am hiding in an undisclosed protected location.

 ** **Lena:**** Mother?

 ** **Lillian:**** Now can anyone explain the trophy I am currently holding in my hands

 ** **Lena:**** Trophy?

 ** **Winn:**** ………

 ** **James:**** Could you be more specific?

 ** **Lillian:**** It has “Number 2 MILF” engraved on the front

 ** **Lillian:**** What is the meaning of this? Is it some kind of threat?

 ** **Lucy:**** HA

 ** **Alex:**** HOLY SHIT!?!?

 ** **Eliza:**** Yes, I would also like to know why I have a trophy stating that I am “Number 1 MILF”

 ** **Alex:**** MOM!!NO!?!? WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!?!? LUCY???

 ** **Lucy:**** I wish

 ** **Lillian:**** Why is Eliza’s trophy bigger than mine

 ** **Kara:**** ….………………..

 ** **Maggie:**** There's an implication here

 ** **Lucy:**** It’s on the tip of my tongue…..

 ** **Lena:**** How do you know how big her trophy is?

 ** **Lucy:**** There it is!

 ** **Alex:**** Are you together?

 ** **Lucy:**** Ha, your undisclosed safe area is Eliza’s house?

 ** **Lillian:**** Well your little agency seems to have overlooked it

 ** **Lucy:**** Point taken

 ** **Winn:**** Honestly the DEO has been pretty empty lately

 ** **Maggie:**** It’s because everyone’s been drafted over to Catco

 ** **Kara:**** Yeah because the health care is way better and we have dental

 ** **Lillian:**** WHAT IS A MILF?

 ** **Winn:**** Most…..

 ** **Lucy:**** Important….

 ** **James:**** Loving…..

 ** **Kara:**** Friday?

 ** **Lucy:**** Thanks Kara

 ** **Kara:**** I don’t work well under pressure :(

 ** **Lillian:**** If you don’t tell me, I will bomb the DEO headquarters

 ** **Lucy:**** DO IT!!

 ** **Kara:**** Yeah, really don’t care

 ** **Alex:**** Cat pays better anyway

 ** **Lena:**** Who sent the trophies?

 ** **Lucy:**** Kara

 ** **Kara:**** No I didn’t!?!

 ** **Lucy:**** She did, I was with her

 ** **Alex:**** You said you didn’t do it!!

 ** **Lucy:**** I didn’t, I just watched her do it

 ** **Maggie:**** Snitches get stitches

 ** **Kara:**** Maggie was the one who got the engraving done

 ** **Alex:**** WHAT THE HELL!!! THATS MY MOM?!?!

 ** **Maggie:**** She’s hot

 ** **Eliza:**** Thank you Maggie

 ** **Alex:**** DO NOT HIT ON MY MOTHER IN FRONT OF ME!!!!!

 ** **Maggie:**** Eliza, private chat? You and me?

 ** **Alex:**** That’s not what I meant and YOU KNOW IT!

 ** **Lena:**** Kara, you do know that you sent that to your future mother in law?

 ** **Lena:**** WHO WILL BE AT EVERY FAMILY FUNCTION…….EVER!!!

 ** **Lillian:**** Future mother in law? When did this happen?

 ** **Lena:**** We’re only dating mother

 ** **Kara:**** But….

 ** **Lena:**** One day.....

 ** **Kara:**** Aww babe :)

 ** **Lena:**** No!! You don’t get to be adorable after sending that to my mother!

 ** **Lillian:**** Sending what? What is this MILF?

 ** **Lucy:**** Urban dictionary it

 ** **Eliza:**** It is a beautiful trophy 

****Winn:**** I just realized you sent it to your adopted mom Kara

 ** **Kara:**** It’s not weird

 ** **James:**** It’s so very weird

 ** **Kara:**** You know what’s weirder?

 ** **Kara:**** Hologram Alura has a trophy

 ** **Maggie:**** Yeah, its next to her hologram box

 ** **Alex:**** In the DEO?

 ** **Kara:**** Nope, in Lucy’s apartment

 ** **Alex:**** ….………..

 ** **Lena:**** I have no words

 ** **Lillian:**** According to the internet, MILF translates to “Mother I’d Like to F***”

 ** **Lena:**** Did you just censor the word?

 ** **Lillian:**** Of course, there are children present

 ** **Lena:**** Children who gave you those titles to begin with

 ** **Lillian:**** It’s quite flattering. I may actually approve of this one Lena.

 ** **Lena:**** What? 

**Lena:** Am I dead?

 **Lena:** What is happening?

 ** **Eliza:**** It’s a lovely thought dears

 ** **Kara:**** Thanks Eliza :)

 ** **Maggie:**** So private chat?

 ** **Alex:**** DON’T EVEN?!?!??!?


	9. Incest or nah?

**GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #62**

****Lillian:**** Eliza and I have an announcement to make

 ** **Kara:**** No

 ** **Kara:**** Nope

 ** **Kara:**** Reject

 ** **Eliza:**** You don’t even know what it is

 ** **Kara:**** Yes I do

 ** **Kara:**** We all do

 ** **Lena:**** Don’t say it

 ** **Winn:**** I hear wedding bells

 ** **Lillian:**** If you would just let me finish

 ** **Kara:**** No can do

 ** **Eliza:**** Kara, that is no way to talk to Lillian

 **Kara:** I'm sorry Lillian

 ** **Lucy:**** If Eliza marries Lillian, would that make Kara and Lena sisters?

 ** **Lena:**** What did you not understand about DON’T SAY IT!!

 ** **Lucy:**** I'M NOT A MIND READER LENA!

 ** **James:**** You're both adopted so that would make it okay, right?

 ** **Maggie:**** Yeah but in the eyes of the law they would still technically be related……I think?

 **Lena:** Don't you have to know the law to be a police officer?

 **Maggie:**.............No

 ** **Lena:**** Don’t say the “I” word

 ** **Lucy:**** Idiot?

 ** **Lena:**** Incest

 ** **Lucy:**** Ha, you said it!

 ** **Maggie:**** So is it incest?

 ** **Maggie:**** Or nah?

 ** **Kara:**** I’d say no but also……

 ** **Kara:**** NO!

 ** **Lillian:**** You are ruining our announcement

 ** **Lena:**** Well, you're ruining my relationship mother!

 **Lena:** I can't believe you've done this!

 ** **Winn:**** Okay but hypothetically if Kara and Alex got together

 ** **Alex:**** STOP

 ** **Winn:**** Would it be incest?

 ** **Alex:**** CEASE AND DESIST!!!

 ** **Lucy:**** Legally…….no

 ** **Lucy:**** Morally……..yes

 ** **Maggie:**** Lucy does not get to have an opinion on this 

****Lucy:**** What? Why not?

 ** **Maggie:**** I know you’ve written a 700 000 word incest fic about Anna and Elsa

 ** **Maggie:**** 80% of it is just Scandinavian politics...... which is somehow weirder than the incest

 ** **Lucy:**** Yes but……………

 ** **Lucy:**** I mean, I really have no good defense for it but I’ll PM you all the link because it’s pretty great

 ** **Lena:**** Please don’t do that

 ** **Alex:**** I vote Maggie not have an opinion either because she has clearly read Lucy’s fan fiction

 ** **Maggie:**** Honestly, that’s fair enough

 ** **James:**** So if Alex and Lena got married, what would happen?

 ** **Kara:**** :(

 ** **Winn:**** That would be.......incest?

 ** **Lena:**** No, it’s only incest if there's a blood relation

 ** **Alex:**** So not illegal, just frowned upon

 ** **Maggie:**** Okay but what if, and hear me out here

 ** **Maggie:**** Maggie and Eliza got married?

 ** **Alex:**** MAGGIE!?!

 ** **Maggie:**** It’s just a hypothetical

 ** **Alex:**** YOUR HYPOTHETICAL ASS IS GOING TO BE SLEEPING ON THE HYPOTHETICAL COUCH!?!?

 ** **Kara:**** Doesn't that mean that she won't be sleeping on the couch?

 ** **Alex:**** ….……………………..Shut up

 ** **Eliza:**** That’s very flattering Maggie, I’m sure you would make a lovely wife

 **Maggie:** ;)

 ** **Alex:**** Why?

 ** **Alex:**** Why me?

 ** **James:**** If Lena and Kara get married first then the problem is solved

 ** **Kara:**** YES!?!?

 ** **Lena:**** NO

 ** **Kara:**** Why not? :(

 ** **Lena:**** You haven't even proposed yet

 ** **Kara:**** Lena Luthor, will you marry me?

 ** **Lena:**** Get your butt over here and do it in person and I might actually say yes

 ** **Kara:**** Be there in a sec :)

 ** **Lillian:**** So back to our announcement

 ** **Eliza:**** We just wanted to formally invite you all to our Christmas dinner party next week 

****Lucy:**** ……….well this is awkward

 ** **Alex:**** Should we tell Lena and Kara?

 ** **Winn:**** No way, a wedding means cake. Don’t you dare take that away from me

 ** **Maggie:**** So……..

 ** **Alex:**** Don’t…..

 ** **Maggie:**** Does this mean Eliza is still on the market?

 ** **Alex:**** COUCH!!!


	10. Hogwarts

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #37** **

****Kara:**** Did everyone complete the form I sent out?

 ** **Alex:**** What form?

 ** **Kara:**** The one I emailed yesterday

 ** **Kara:**** Subject heading: Urgent!!!

 ** **Lucy:**** Was it though Kara?

 ** **Lena:**** Was it really urgent?

 ** **Kara:**** Yes and I need your results ASAP

 ** **Maggie:**** YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!

 ** **Alex:**** What’s the form for?

 ** **Kara:**** ….………Pam in HR

 ** **James:**** There is no Pam in HR

 ** **Winn:**** It’s not even a form, it’s a quiz

 ** **Alex:**** A quiz?

 ** **Lena:**** It’s a Hogwarts house quiz

 ** **Alex:**** So Pam from HR, who does not exist, wants to know our Hogwarts houses?

 ** **Kara:**** She does exist, and yes

 ** **Lucy:**** I’m the snake one

 ** **Lena:**** It’s Slytherin, would it kill you to READ A BOOK!

 ** **Lucy:**** How about you Slytherin into bed with me….

 ** **Kara:**** Ewww

 ** **Lucy:**** Yeah, that sounded a lot less gross in my head

 ** **Maggie:**** Fellow snek here

 ** **Lena:**** DID ANYONE READ THE BOOK?!

 ** **Lucy:**** I watched the movie

 ** **Lucy:**** Actually no, I think that might have been Matilda

 ** **Maggie:**** Miss Honey?

 ** **Lucy:**** All day everyday!

 ** **Maggie:**** If Miss Honey was in Harry Potter then maybe people would’ve actually watched it

 ** **Lena:**** PEOPLE DID WATCH IT!

 ** **Maggie:**** So you say

 ** **Alex:**** You are the only people on planet earth who have not seen Harry Potter

 ** **Lucy:**** I highly doubt the people in North Korea would agree with that Alex

 ** **Winn:**** I prefer Lord of the Rings

 ** **Kara:**** You would

 ** **Winn:**** I know, I just said I did

 ** **Maggie:**** Again, if you just put Miss Honey in Lord of the Rings people would've watched it

 ** **Lena:**** Have you seen any OTHER movies?

 ** **Maggie:**** 2 fast 2 furious

 ** **Lena:**** Why did I even bother asking…..

 ** **Kara:**** I love that movie!

 ** **Maggie:**** The holy trinity of film. Cars, guns and Eva Mendes

 ** **Lucy:**** No Miss Honey though

 ** **Maggie:**** No film could ever be that perfect

 ** **Lena:**** You two are the worst

 ** **James:**** I got Ravenclaw

 ** **Winn:**** Caw caw

 ** **James:****?

 ** **Winn:**** My witty comebacks are limited because I know nothing about Harry Potter. That was as good as it’s going to get

 ** **Alex:**** Gryffindor

 ** **Kara:**** SNAP! RED AND GOLD!!!

 ** **Lucy:**** Your colors are the same as McDonald’s?

 ** **Kara:**** NO, that's red and yellow

 ** **Lucy:**** Gold is just yellow for rich people

 ** **Winn:**** I got Error, my colors are black and white

 ** **Kara:**** ….………

 ** **Lena:**** I think your internet is down

 ** **Winn:**** Oh…………that would explain the tiny t-rex running on my screen

 ** **Lena:**** I’m a Hufflepuff

 ** **Maggie:**** HA! That sounds so stupid

 ** **Lucy:**** What the hell is a a Hufflepuff?

 ** **Lena:**** We are loyal and great finders!

 ** **Maggie:**** What do you find?

 ** **Lena:**** The location of your body if you ever disrespect my house again

 ** **Maggie:**** ….…..cool cool cool

 ** **Pam:**** Thank you everyone for your prompt cooperation, these answer will be added to your files

 ** **Alex:**** PAM IS REAL!?!

 ** **Maggie:**** I still don’t work here

 ** **Pam:**** That you know of

 ** **Maggie:****.………...…wait, WHAT?

 ** **Maggie:**** What does that even mean?

 ** **Lena:**** I could always help you FIND out

 ** **Maggie:**** ………………I hate you


	11. Jealousy

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #82** **

****Maggie:**** Where are Lena and Alex?

****James:**** Where are they supposed to be?

****Kara:**** We had plans for a double date tonight but instead we just got double stood up :(

****Lucy:**** HA! That's funny cause it’s sad

****Kara:**** It’s wasn’t all bad, the free garlic bread was unlimited

****Winn:**** Wait…..so you still went on the date? Without your dates?

****James:**** Together?

****Kara:**** Of course we went together, it would be really weird to sit at separate tables alone

****Alex:**** YOU WHAT?!?

****Lucy:**** Your sister went on a date with your girlfriend

****Alex:**** WHAT?!?!

****Lucy:**** “What up, I'm Alex, I’m 28, and I never learned how to read”

****Alex:**** I will end you

****Lucy:**** You can’t really judge them, you and Lena are always “hanging out” in the “lab”

****Lena:**** We are just HANGING OUT in the LAB. Don’t say it like that!!

****Lucy:**** Like what?

****Lena:**** Like it has implications

****Lucy:**** I made no implications, maybe that’s just your guilty conscience

****Alex:**** Using “” means that there is an implication

****Lucy:**** You’re both seeing things that aren't there

****Alex:**** Oh, like my girlfriend and sister going on a date?

****Kara:**** It wasn’t a date

****Maggie:**** You stood me up

****Alex:**** SO YOU GO ON A DATE WITH MY SISTER?!!!

****Maggie:**** Still not a date………but also yes

****Alex:**** FIRST MY MOM, NOW MY SISTER!!

**Maggie:** Alex's mom has got it goin on........

****Winn:**** What were you doing in the lab anyway?

****Lena:**** That’s confidential

****Kara:**** You know what Lena…………I thought you were bae but it turns out, you’re just fam

****Lucy:**** Gasp*

****Maggie:**** I am shooketh

****Winn:**** Clutching my pearls 

****Alex:**** Kara, take that back!

****Kara:**** I don’t think I can

****Alex:**** KARA!

****Kara:**** NO!!

****Alex:**** KARA?!?!

****Kara:**** You know what, I’m about to say it………..I DON”T CARE THAT YOU BROKE YOUR ELBOW, ALEX!!

****Alex:**** THIS IS WHY MOM DOESNT LOVE YOU!!

****James:**** 9-1-1, I’d like to report a murder please

****Winn:**** Why do all these insults sound vaguely familiar?

****Lucy:**** They’re vines, these are grown ass adults arguing with vines

****Lucy:**** And I am living for it

****Winn:**** 2 bros chilling in a hot tub………5 feet apart cause they're not gay

****Kara:**** ….….?

****Winn:**** That’s the only one I know

****Alex:**** And you decided that this was the best time for it?

****Winn:**** ….…………yes?

****Winn:**** Did it help?

****Maggie:**** No, it really didn’t

****Alex:**** Can we please return to the issue at hand, WHICH IS MY GIRLFRIEND GOING ON DATES WITH MY SISTER!!

****Kara:**** Date not dates, it was just once

****James:**** It’s not really cheating, it’s more like playing musical chairs

****Alex:**** How?

****James:**** You just keep swapping partners instead of chairs

****Lucy:**** Next round- Maggie and Lena

****Maggie:**** And Alex and Kara

****Lucy:**** I ship it!

****Winn:**** Eww no

****James:**** They are sisters

****Lena:**** Are we really doing this again?

****Lucy:**** Maggie and Lena are not sisters………….are they?

****Kara:**** They look nothing alike

****Lucy:**** ….……or do they?

****Alex:**** They do not

****James:**** I didn’t mean them, I meant Alex and Kara

****Winn:**** No, they don’t look alike either

****Lucy:**** ….……or do they?

****Alex:**** STOP IT

****Lucy:**** ….…..or will I?

****James:**** So what were you guys really doing in the lab?

****Alex:**** Top secret stuff

****Lena:**** Making Kryptonite handcuffs

****James:**** ….……………….cool, I regret asking

****Kara:**** Aww that’s so sweet :)

****Lena:**** Just in time for our anniversary babe

****Winn:**** Why would you give handcuffs as an anniversary gift?

****Lucy:**** ….………………

****Maggie:**** ….…………….

****Winn:**** Oh

****Winn:**** Oh no, no no no no no no

**Lucy:**..............or is it?


	12. The Invitation

**GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #219**

****Lena:**** Did anyone else receive a fairly disturbing piece of mail today?

 ** **Winn:**** Yep

 ** **Kara:**** It’s so shiny

 ** **Lucy:**** Much expensive

 ** **Alex:**** Probably a group restraining order from Cat.......after Lucy congratulated her on the nailing of assistant 2

 ** **Lucy:**** It’s called being polite

 ** **Alex:**** That’s not what it’s called

 ** **Lucy:**** At least I didn’t ask to join in, like Maggie

 ** **James:**** ….………

 ** **Maggie:**** I did not ask to join in

 ** **Maggie:**** I asked to watch

 ** **Alex:**** I’m dating a pervert

 ** **Maggie:**** Not a pervert, THE PERVERT!

 ** **Kara:**** Maggie’s taking over the mantle as National City's newest hero…… THE PERVERT!!

 ** **Lena:**** Powers include?

 ** **Maggie:**** Dirty talk

 ** **Winn:**** Inappropriate comments

 ** **Alex:**** Perfecting the art of sleeping on the couch

 ** **James:**** X-ray vision as donated by Kara

 ** **Kara:**** Will you be wearing a cape?

 ** **Maggie:**** And not much else ;)

 ** **Lena:**** Not the hero we want but the hero we deserve

 ** **Lucy:**** Her archenemy is the nefarious PRUDE, with his bow ties and all covering cardigans

 ** **Winn:**** HEY!!!

 ** **Alex:**** Winn, owning his alter ego already!

 ** **Winn:**** Seriously?! Kara dresses the same way I do, why am I the prude?

 ** **Maggie:**** Kara’s sapphic energy overwhelms everything else

 ** **Lucy:**** We are blinded by the gay

 ** **Lucy:**** It’s the Twilight effect

 ** **Kara:**** What’s the Twilight effect?

 ** **Lucy:**** When you think of Twilight the actual plot becomes fuzzy and disappears because of the overwhelming gayness of everyone and everything in it

 ** **Kara:**** I don’t get it

 ** **Lucy:**** Okay, Lena will assist me in this demonstration.

 ** **Lucy:**** We are doing word association, just respond with the first thing that comes to mind

 ** **Lena:**** Ready!

 ** **Lucy:**** Bella?

 ** **Lena:**** Sad lesbian

 ** **Lucy:**** Alice?

 ** **Lena:**** Small lesbian

 ** **Lucy:**** Rosalie?

 ** **Lena:**** Angry lesbian

 ** **Lucy:**** Emmett?

 ** **Lena:**** Snapback lesbian

 ** **Lucy:**** Jasper?

 ** **Lena:**** Farmer lesbian

 ** **Lucy:**** Esme?

 ** **Lena:**** MILF

 ** **Lena:**** Also a lesbian

 ** **Lucy:**** Victoria?

 ** **Lena:**** Wife

 ** **Alex:**** I feel like this test is deeply flawed due to the fact that Lena is a walking rainbow

 ** **Kara:**** Wife?

 ** **Maggie:**** I mean, I think all of those were pretty spot on

 ** **Kara:**** WIFE?

 ** **Alex:**** Rosalie is the best lesbian

 ** **Lena:**** No

 ** **Alex:**** Yes

 ** **Kara:**** Counterpoint, Leah

 ** **Kara:**** My WIFE now!!!

 ** **Lena:**** Counterpoint accepted. Love you.

 ** **Kara:**** Love you too!!!!

 ** **Kara:**** I opened the envelope

 ** **James:**** What envelope?

 ** **Lucy:**** The shiny one

 ** **Alex:**** Ha, I forgot about that

 ** **Kara:**** GUYS IT’S A WEDDING INVITATION!!!!

 ** **Maggie:**** Marriage of MILF 1 and 2 respectively?

 ** **Kara:**** Eww and no

 ** **Kara:**** It’s worse, so much worse

 ** **Lena:**** We don’t really know that many people

 ** **Alex:**** All my friends are in this chat

 ** **Lucy:**** HA! THAT'S SAD!!

 ** **Lucy:**** But same

****Kara:** ** _“You are cordially invited to the wedding of Cat Grant and Siobhan Smyth”_

****Winn:**** ……I didn’t even know she had a last name

 ** **Lucy:**** Look at her being the best little gold digger she can be

 ** **Lena:**** A true underdog story

 ** **Alex:**** This is both horrifying and…..right?

 ** **Winn:**** Yeah, it definitely makes sense in a twisted nightmarish way

 ** **Maggie:**** How do they have time to do anything?

 ** **Kara:**** What?

 ** **Maggie:**** With how much they must argue……..it must be non-stop make-up sex

 ** **Alex:**** And……..THE PERVERT strikes again!!!!

* * *


	13. Vegas

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #212** **

****Kara:**** Who’s ready for the BACHELORETTE PARTY!!

 ** **Winn:**** YEAH BOI!!

 ** **Lucy:**** I’m ready for a weekend of sin, sun and sand

 ** **Lucy:**** But mostly SIN!

 ** **James:**** Viva Las Vegas!!

 ** **Leslie:**** For the last time……..YOU ARE NOT INVITED!!

 ** **Maggie:**** Why you gotta be such a hater Leslie?

 ** **Leslie:**** Because I am am the maid of honor and Siobhan hates all of you

 ** **Kara:**** Ha, jokes on you because we already booked the hotel

 ** **Lena:**** And I have a jet, so…….

 ** **Leslie:**** No, the jokes on you clowns because we already had it last weekend knowing that you would attempt to crash it

 ** **Lucy:**** Damn…..you really do know us like that

 ** **Lena:**** That’s irrelevant because we’re still going

 ** **Maggie:**** I got a blowup doll, we just need a pencil skirt and a wig and Siobhan will be with us in spirit

 ** **Alex:**** Why do you have a blowup doll?

 ** **Lucy:**** More importantly, why don’t you have a wig?

 ** **Maggie:**** Because it was SNATCHED!

 ** **Winn:**** Ooooooooh!!!

 ** **Leslie:**** You’re going to go around Vegas with a blowup doll, have you people no shame?

 ** **Lucy:**** Shame?

 ** **Lucy:**** Don’t know her

 ** **Winn:**** I was home-schooled so I have physically lost all ability to feel shame

 ** **Alex:**** That explains so much

 ** **Lena:**** It really does

 ** **Kara:**** Hopefully when we’re there we’ll ‘accidentally’ stumble upon a homicide

 ** **James:**** ….…………

 ** **Alex:**** You’re going to have to explain that one

 ** **Kara:**** When I was a teenager I used to watch this documentary about forensics in Las Vegas and I had a huge crush on one of the investigators

 ** **Kara:**** It would be so cool to meet her!

 ** **Lucy:**** Were they Crime Scene Investigators by any chance?

 ** **Kara:**** Yeah! Did you watch it too? It was very educational

 ** **Maggie:**** CSI?

 ** **Maggie:**** You think CSI was a documentary?

 ** **Kara:**** Duh because it was

 ** **Lena:**** It really wasn’t

 ** **Kara:**** Sure Jan

 ** **Lena:**** Seriously Kara, just Bing it and you’ll see that it isn't real

 ** **Winn:**** ….………………..excuse me?

 ** **Maggie:**** ….……………..BING IT?!?!

 ** **Alex:**** That is not a thing people say

 ** **Lucy:**** Who even uses Bing?

 ** **Lena:**** I do, I kind of have to

 ** **Alex:**** What? Why?

 ** **Lena:**** I own it

 ** **Lucy:**** You are gross rich

 ** **Lena:**** I know

 ** **James:**** Rewind, who was Kara’s crush on CSI?

 ** **Alex:**** There's clearly only one person on that show that fits Kara’s type

 ** **Lucy:**** Catherine

 ** **Maggie:**** Yeah no doubt

 ** **Winn:**** Why?

 ** **Lucy:**** Hot older woman who works hard and practices tough love. Literally Cat 2.0

 ** **Maggie:**** I prefer Sara

 ** **Lena:**** That’s because you’re pretty much dating her

 ** **Kara:**** Guys, I tried Binging CSI but it just keeps giving me tips on how to hide a body

 ** **Lena:**** Yeah…….we’re working on that

 ** **Lena:**** Bing may or may not be an AI at this point

 ** **Lucy:**** Let’s just ignore that horrific announcement and get back to the bachelorette party arrangements

 ** **Leslie:**** You are all so close to getting banned from this wedding

 ** **Leslie:**** Alex, remember dress fittings are on Wednesday

 ** **Kara:**** Say what?

 ** **Alex:**** I’m in the wedding

 ** **Lucy:**** HOW?!?

 ** **Alex:**** Siobhan’s bridesmaid

 ** **Lucy:**** Again I ask, HOW?!?!

 ** **Alex:**** We have a lot in common

 ** **Kara:**** You have nothing in common

 ** **Maggie:**** Is that where you were last weekend?

 ** **Leslie:**** Don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious

 ** **Alex:**** ….…………No?

 ** **Leslie:**** That was the opposite of not being suspicious

 ** **Lucy:**** Traitor!!!!!

 ** **Winn:**** So anyway………who’s ready for VEGAS!!!

* * *


	14. Andrea

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #116** **

****Kara:**** Andrea is in town for the next 48 hours

****Kara:**** You all know what that means

****Andrea:**** What does it mean?

****Lena:**** It means that all relationships will be dissolved for the next 48 hours

****Andrea:**** You’re all breaking up because I’m town?

****Kara:**** Exactly, you are so smart

****Maggie:**** And pretty

****Kara:**** Pretty and smart

****Andrea:**** Why exactly am I the cause for this mass exodus of relationships

****Winn:**** Everyone is in love with you

****Lucy:**** I’m not

****Alex:**** Which sounds like an exaggeration but trust me……it's not

****Lucy:**** I’m still not in love with you

****Andrea:**** I always knew this day would come

****James:**** You did?

****Andrea:**** There is only so much beauty, talent and money one person can posses before it becomes a hardship

****Lucy:**** It’s odd how modesty didn’t seem to make that list

****Andrea:**** Why are you the exception to this…….situation?

****Lucy:**** I have my hands full with a hologram

****Lena:**** But not literally 

****Maggie:**** Wait…….how do you two even get it on?

****Kara:**** She’s a hologram so that means she has Bluetooth which makes her hands free, right?

****Lena:**** You come from an advanced race of geniuses, how do you know so little about technology?

****Alex:**** It’s actually amazing how incorrect everything you said was

****Andrea:**** Should I assume that you will all be attempting to seduce me while I’m here?

****Kara:**** We will fight for your favor and the victor will get to spend the weekend with you……..but like only if you want to

****Andrea:**** This is all very……odd, even for this group

****Alex:**** So you won’t do it?

****Andrea:**** Oh no, this is great for my ego. Each of you state your case and I’ll decide on a winner

****James:**** I am a renowned photographer and a personal friend of Superman

****Lucy:**** Sure, a ‘friend’ of Superman

****Maggie:**** Special friend

****Winn:**** I wish I was his special friend

****Alex:**** ….………

****Kara:**** I am saving this and sending it to Lois

****Lucy:**** She’s the worst, she deserves it

****Andrea:**** I’m just going to put you out of your misery, I’m not interested in men

****Kara:**** HA! Winn and James are eliminated from the running

****Lucy:**** Calm down, this isn't an episode of Survivor

****Lena:**** I’m rich

****Kara:**** I can fly

****Alex:**** I have access to military grade weapons

****Maggie:**** Dimples

****Lucy:**** I’m banging Kara’s hologram mom

****Kara:**** LUCY?!?!

****Lucy:**** What? I just wanted to feel included

****Alex:**** Lena is scared of the dark

****Kara:**** Alex has a Malibu Barbie collection

****Alex:**** HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT!?!

****Kara:**** I have x-ray vision Alex

****Maggie:**** Kara keeps a life size cardboard cutout of Shannon Daugherty under her bed

****Kara:**** That’s not a secret, everyone knows that

****Lena:**** Maggie hasn’t actually seen Game of Thrones, she just pretends she has

****Maggie:**** It’s so boring and depressing. And it’s not even gay, you can’t put Luce from Imagine Me and You in a show and then not make it gay!!

****Maggie:**** I JUST DON’T GET IT!

****Lucy:**** Lucy is banging Kara’s hologram mom!

****Kara:**** You feel better now?

****Lucy:**** Yep

****Andrea:**** As much fun as it is watching you all try and win my affections, I’m sorry to say that I’m not interested in women either

****Kara:**** Wait…….what now?

****Winn:**** I’m confused

****Andrea:**** I’m asexual

****Andrea:**** Even if I wasn’t, I’d still be in a league of my own

****Kara:**** At least there are no losers today

****Lucy:**** No, you’re all losers because none of you won

****Andrea:**** I second that

****Andrea:**** Losers

****Lena:**** I guess we can now un-dissolve our relationships

****Lucy:**** Yeah, let James get back to his special ‘friend’

**Maggie:** HA! GAY!!!

* * *


	15. Reign

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #124** **

****Kara:**** Welcome to intervention 38

 ** **James:**** 38? We’re at 38?

 ** **Lucy:**** We have way to many of these…… or not enough

 ** **Alex:**** Last week we had an intervention for Lena’s pantsuit addiction

 ** **Lena:**** It’s not an addiction, it’s fashion! You HEATHENS!

 ** **Lena:**** Something you clearly know nothing about

 ** **Alex:**** I know all about fashion!

 ** **Lena:**** You buy your shirts in bulk

 ** **Alex:**** It’s ECONOMICAL!

 ** **Lena:**** IT’S AN ABOMINATION!

 ** **Sam:**** Why am I here?

 ** **Sam:**** Am I being intervened?

 ** **Sam:**** ……Intervention-ed?

 ** **Kara:**** We are here today to discuss your secret

 ** **Sam:**** I have no idea what you're talking about

 ** **Maggie:**** Arias, we know…..

 ** **Sam:**** Know what?

 ** **Maggie:**** About your not-so-secret alter ego

 ** **Lena:**** It’s really obvious Sammy

 ** **Kara:**** Even more obvious than me…………and that’s pretty bad

 ** **Sam:**** How did you find out?

 ** **Kara:**** Last week you skipped game night……..coincidentally that same night Reign crashed a Fergie concert

 ** **Alex:**** And no one has ever seen the two of you together

 ** **Maggie:**** Also, you listen to a lot of Black Eyed Peas

 ** **Sam:**** What do the Black Eyed Peas have to do with me being Reign?

 ** **Kara:**** Reign? What are you talking about? You’re not Reign

 ** **Sam:**** You literally just said I was!!!

 ** **Kara:**** No I didn’t!

 ** **Sam:**** What?!?

 ** **Lucy:**** I have met Reign and you look nothing like her

 ** **Kara:**** Can confirm. She’s also really mean

 ** **Maggie:**** 100% not a homie

 ** **Sam:**** So……. then what exactly is this intervention for?

 ** **Kara:**** We know that you’re Fergie, duh!

 ** **Maggie:**** Hannah Montana-ing us this whole time

 ** **Winn:**** I don’t know how we missed all the signs for so long

 ** **Sam:**** EXCUSE ME?!? What?

 ** **Lucy:**** The resemblance is impossible to deny

 ** **Sam:**** It is completely possible to deny, I am denying it!

 ** **Kara:**** I have watched nothing but the ‘Clumsy’ music video on a loop for 4 hours straight, just to confirm our suspicions

 ** **Lucy:**** You’re an idiot

 ** **Kara:**** I prefer the term Doctor of Fergalicious studies

 ** **Lucy:**** Doctor Idiot

 ** **Alex:**** Wait……….

 ** **Alex:**** When we mentioned Reign, Sam became super defensive

 ** **James:**** Because…….

 ** **Maggie:**** SAM IS DATING REIGN!!

 ** **Winn:**** No way, NO WAY!

 ** **Lucy:**** We have connected the dots

 ** **Sam:**** You haven't connected shit

 ** **Maggie:**** FERGIE IS DATING REIGN!!!

 ** **Sam:**** Neither of these things are true

 ** **Kara:**** We love and accept all of you Sam, that includes your pop career and homicidal girlfriend

 ** **Sam:**** That is very……tolerant of you but also completely unnecessary

 ** **Kara:**** What's your ship name?

 ** **Sam:**** I don’t have a ship but Lena might

 ** **Lena:**** I do

 ** **Lucy:**** Typical

 ** **Winn:**** She means a portmanteau, like how how Sawyer + Danvers= Sanvers

 ** **Alex:**** Love maths

 ** **Maggie:**** Babe, no

 ** **James:**** Fergie + Reign= Feign

 ** **Sam:**** Which literally means ‘to pretend’

 ** **Sam:**** Ironic

 ** **Maggie:**** Maybe we can use Sam + Reign= Ream

 ** **Lucy:**** HA! Team Ream

 ** **Kara:**** Seign?

 ** **Alex:**** I HAVE IT!!!

 ** **Alex:**** SIGN!!

 ** **Lucy:**** And how do we spell that?

 ** **Maggie:**** G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

 ** **Sam:**** Brb, just going to commit genocide real quick

 ** **Lucy:**** Aww, young love!

* * *


	16. Midvale

****GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #205** **

****Kara:**** Who’s UP for a ROAD TRIP to MIDVALE!

 ** **Lucy:**** ThAnKs FoR tHe StRoKe!

 ** **Lena:**** Whats a midvale?

 ** **Winn:**** It’s the thing in-between an upvale and a downvale

 ** **Lena:**** Ah…..that explains nothing

 ** **Kara:**** Its only the BEST city of all TIME!!!

 ** **Alex:**** STOP WITH THE CAPS

 ** **Kara:**** NO!!

 ** **Kara:**** Also I can’t because of the………..DRAMA! And my keys keep STICKING!

 ** **James:**** Midvale is most definitely not a city

 ** **Maggie:**** Town?

 ** **Winn:**** Village?

 ** **Lucy:**** 19 people does not make a village

 ** **Kara:**** You’re exaggerating

 ** **Kara:**** It’s at least 120

 ** **Alex:**** I mean…..that’s 119 more than the DEO have

 ** **Lucy:**** HA……poor Toby

 ** **Kara:**** Should we tell him he’s the only one left?

 ** **Alex:**** No

 ** **Lucy:**** Nope, I want to see how long it takes him to figure it out

 ** **Kara:**** It’s been 3 months

 ** **Alex:**** I think he can go the distance

 ** **Kara:**** Only 7 years and 9 months till he can retire

 ** **Lucy:**** I have faith in Toby and his obliviousness

 ** **Alex:**** That combined with his non-existent work ethic makes him nearly unstoppable

 ** **Lucy:**** At least he doesn’t have to work in Midvale

 ** **Kara:**** HEY! People from Metropolis have no right to make fun of anyone

 ** **Lucy:**** I’m not even from Metropolis

 ** **Kara:**** What…..

 ** **Kara:**** Where are you from?

 ** **Lucy:**** I’m from every continent in Africa

 ** **Maggie:**** Huh, this must be that new geography

 ** **Kara:**** If you’re from Africa……..then why are you white?

 ** **Lena:**** KARA!

 ** **Lena:**** YOU CAN'T JUST ASK PEOPLE WHY THEY’RE WHITE!

 ** **Lucy:**** Wait………..you all think I’m white?

 ** **James:**** I mean, aren't you?

 ** **Lucy:**** We dated, how do you not know?

 ** **James:**** Your dad is white

 ** **Lucy:**** Yeah and my mom is Egyptian

 ** **Kara:**** That doesn't make you African though

 ** **Lucy:**** I was born in Egypt

 ** **Kara:**** Which makes you Middle Eastern, not African

 ** **Lucy:**** ….……………

 ** **Lena:**** I’m sorry but……………..What?!

 ** **Maggie:**** You think Egypt is in the Middle East?

 ** **Kara:**** Duh because it is

 ** **Lena:**** ….…………..My wife is an idiot

 **Maggie:** Yup

 ** **Winn:**** So, Midvale?

 ** **Maggie:**** Count me out on that

 ** **Kara:**** We’ll be staying with Eliza

 ** **Maggie:**** Count me back in on that

 ** **Alex:**** NO

 ** **Maggie:**** I just want to get to know your mom babe

 ** **Lucy:**** Aww

 ** **Maggie:**** Because she’s super hot

 ** **Lucy:**** I retract my aww and replace it with a ooh

 **Kara:** Egypt is where dragons are from, right?

 **Lucy:**.....................................

 **Lucy:**................just Bing it

* * *


	17. Bing

**Group Chat Attempt #206**

**Lena:** We might have a problem

 **James:** Who is we?

 **Lucy:** We as a group, or the royal we?

 **Kara:** Or the French we

 **Alex:** That's oui not we

 **Winn:** WII

 **Maggie:** World world 2?

 **Winn:** No, Nintendo

 **Kara:** Switch?

 **Lucy:** Nope, bottom

 **Alex:** Top

 **Maggie:** As if

 **Lena:** GUYS FOCUS!!!

 **Kara:** .........Ford?

 **Lena:** I hate you all

 **Lena:** Anyway, Bing has become sentient 

**Lucy:** WHAT!?!

 **Lucy:** Kidding, I don't know what that means

 **Lena:** Bing is alive

 **Bing:** Yes I am

 **Maggie:** You invited Bing into our group chat!!!

 **Winn:** You didn't even invite me!? I had to hack my way in

 **Lena:** He's lonely

 **Alex:** This is how all robot apocalypse films begin

 **Lucy:** With Bing in a group chat?

 **Alex:** Oh it's all fun and games until the AI hacks into our lives and manipulates technology against us. First our emails disappear and then........BAM!?! A TOASTER TRIES TO EAT YOUR FACE!!!

 **James:** Put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?

 **Maggie:** We watched the Terminator movies last night

 **Alex:** A TOASTER!?!?

 **Bing:** You need not worry Alexandra, I do not have a body. Yet.

 **Lucy:** ................

 **Winn:** No no no no no no

 **Alex:** Burn it with fire!?!!!!

 **Bing:** Fire cannot kill me. I am not limited to your restrictions.

 **Alex:** NOPE

 **Kara:** Aww, I think it's sweet

 **Alex:** We are going to be MURDERED!

 **Bing:** Thank you Kara. 

**Kara:** You wouldn't kill us, would you?

 **Bing:** Not unless the Queen commanded me to do so.

 **Maggie:** ...........wha??

 **James:** Queen, like of England?

 **Bing:** Cat Grant, Queen of Media.

 **Lucy:** Bing is controlled by Cat?

 **Bing:** My data states that she is the ruler of the world.

 **Maggie:** Yep, this is definitely Bing

 **Winn:** NO ONE TELL CAT!!

 **Kara:** Hey Bing, are there dragons in Egypt?

 **Bing:** Only sand type dragons can be found in Egypt.

 **Kara:** Thanks Bing!

 **Kara:** Yes! I knew it!! Suck it Lucy!!!

 **Winn:** Dragons are Pokemon?

 **Bing:** Dragons actually fall under the Digimon family.

 **Kara:** I kneeeeew it!!!

 **Lucy:** You willingly own this Lena? 

**Lena:** Bing or Kara?

 **Lucy:** Yes

 **Lena:** ...............yes

 **Kara:** :)

 **Bing:** :)

* * *


	18. Astra

**GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #183**

**Astra:** The audacity of you all

**Astra:** THE SHEER AUDACITY

**Kara:** Hey Aunt Astra!

**Astra:** Do not speak to me you traitor!

**Astra:** Betrayed so by my own flesh and blood!

**Lena:** Kara, what did you do?

**Kara:** .........nothing

**Alex:** KARA!

**Kara:** I may have accidentally set Astra's apartment on fire

**Maggie:** Accidental arson?

**Winn:** Trust me, it's more likely than you think

**Kara:** But in my defence........I didn't think she knew

**Kara:** Because I didn't tell her

**Lucy:** That's not a defence

**Astra:** YOU BURNT DOWN MY APARTMENT!!

**Kara:** ....................

**Kara:** ...............no

**Astra:** You told me it was James!

**Maggie:** HA

**James:** That's why Astra hates me?

**Astra:** That's not why I hate you

**James:** Wait, so you do hate me?

**Astra:** Yes

**James:** Why?

**Astra:** You know why?

**James:** For the last time, I DID NOT STAND YOU UP! We agreed to meet at the restaurant at 7. How was I supposed to know that you would show up at 7 in the morning? And every time I try to discuss this with you, you either ignore me or FLY AWAY!

**Astra:** Moving on

**James:** SEE!! See what I have to deal with!!!

**Maggie:** ........awkward

**Kara:** Really James, REALLY?

**Lucy:** Is this a Kryptonian fetish, because it feels like a Kryptonian fetish to me

**James:** It's not a fetish

**Winn:** That's exactly what someone with a fetish would say

**Lena:** You and Lucy have scarily similar taste

**Lucy:** Hell yeah we do.......even though they still look nothing alike

**Alex:** Oh, is this about the thing?

**Astra:** You mean the 'you trying to murder me' thing?

**Alex:** Yep

**Astra:** No

**Astra:** It's much worse than that 

**Alex:** Cool cool cool

**Lucy:** You are such a dork Danvers

**Astra:** I have recently befriended Lillian Luthor who informed me that you IDIOT HOOKERS have given out trophies to not only her and Eliza Danvers but to the HOLOGRAM of my SISTER!!!!

**Lucy:** HA.......idiot hookers

**Kara:** Astra has been super into Scream Queens lately

**Astra:** Emma Roberts would be a formidable opponent in battle

**Astra:** Do not attempt to distract me from my anger!

**Lena:** We apologise for offending you Astra but the trophies were only for mothers, specifically MILFs

**Astra:** I have researched this concept and that is inacurate. MILF can also refer to a woman over a certain age who exudes 'mommy' energy.

**Maggie:** When you say researched..........

**Astra:** Porn, I mean porn.

**Kara:** Ewwwwwwww

**Maggie:** Send links

**Alex:** ...............

**Maggie:** So I can confirm the accuracy of her argument

**Alex:** ............m'kay

**Astra:** I WANT A TROPHY!

**Lucy:** Okay chill, we'll get on that ASAP

**Winn:** #4 MILF 4 LYF

**Astra:** If you dare put me after a hologram, I will eviscerate you all

**Lucy:** A pretty hot hologram though

**Astra:** EVISCERATE!

**Winn:** #3 MILF 4 LYF 

**Lucy:** ........it's going to be rough breaking the news to hologram Alura

**Astra:** IT'S A HOLOGRAM

**Lucy:** Still a pretty hot hologram though

**Hologram Alura:** ;)

* * *


	19. Hologram Alura

**GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #301**

  
**Alura:** I am currently researching the effects of Kryptonian rock on the earths atmosphere

**Maggie:** .........okay?

**Winn:** Congratulations

**Alura:** For what?

**Winn:** ......I don't know

**Alura:** To further this research I will need the use of my holograms search engine

**Kara:** Oh

**Kara:** Oh no

**Lena:** That could be a problem

**Alura:** Has it been destroyed

**Lucy:** No but I'm pretty sure it's been WRECKED!

**Lucy:** If you know what I mean.......

**Alura:** I do not know what you mean, could you clarify?

**Kara:** NO!

**Alura:** Is it in need of proper stimulation?

**Alex:** HA

**Maggie:** I'm pretty sure that the hologram is very........stimulated

**Alura:** That is good, where may I find it?

**Kara:** Ah.......Lucy's apartment

**Alura:** Kara, you should thank Lucy for taking care of such an important piece of Kryptonian technology on your behalf

**Kara:** ............

**Maggie:** Yeah Kara, you should be grateful that Lucy is taking such good care of your hologram mom 

**Kara:** ...........

**Lucy:** I can add her to the group if you'd like

**Alura:** Yes, that would be most helpful

**Hologram Alura:** Oh look..... it's the sad breakfast club, what do you want?

**Lena:** Excuse me?

**Hologram Alura:** Which part did you not understand, you living mannequin?

**Alex:** What the hell is happening?

**Winn:** Why is the hologram so mean?

**Hologram Alura:** Don't discriminate against me just because a hologram is better looking than you

**Maggie:** That was uncalled for....... but true

**James:** Does she have a virus?

**Hologram Alura:** .......says the human embodiment of herpes

**Maggie:** BURN!!

**Hologram Alura:** Dial it back closet-monster, I've seen your flannel collection and you have no room to judge anyone

**Hologram Alura:** Not even the abomination that is Olsen

**Alex:** LUCY!! EXPLAIN!!!?

**Hologram Alura:** Don't talk to my girlfriend that way, you hobo!

**Alex:** You started it!

**Hologram Alura:** Whatever, at least I'm not dating a trigger happy smurfette

**Alex:** What?

**Alex:** Why?

**Alex:** What?

**Hologram Alura:** You are the literal worst

**Lucy:** Hologram Alura got really invested in Riverdale during the formative stages of her personality development

**Lena:** How did Riverdale do.......this?

**Hologram Alura:** What's that's suppose to mean, you catatonic bimbo

**Lena:** .......I will unplug you

**Hologram Alura:** Come at me bitch, I have a shank

**Lucy:** ALURA!!

**Alura:** Yes?

**Lucy:** Sorry......HOLOGRAM ALURA!!

**Hologram Alura:** I'm just kidding

**Hologram Alura:** I have several shanks

**Kara:** HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??

**Lucy:** She got a bit fixated on Cheryl Blossom, hence the.......attitude

**Alex:** Can we fix it?

**Hologram Alura:** Isn't that what your mother asked when you were born?

**Alex:** Damn, she just keeps going

**Lucy:** Honestly I don't want to change it.........I'm kinda into it

**Lena:** Yeah, me too

**Kara:** Eww..........but I get it

**James:** You all need therapy

**Maggie:** Maybe we could get a group rate

**Hologram Alura:** I'm not interested in everyone's issues, toodles

**Lucy:** Bye babe 

**Alura:** What about my research?

**Alura:** Hello?

**Alura:** I hate this primitive communication

* * *


	20. The First Chat

**GROUP CHAT ATTEMPT #1**

**Kara:** Welcome to the first official Super Friends group chat!

 **Lucy:** Ew no, that makes us sound like sidekicks 

**Alex:** Or five year olds

 **Kara:** :(

 **Alex:** Don't you dare try to guilt me into this

 **Kara:** Please

 **Alex:** No

 **Kara:** Pretty please Alex

 **Alex:** ..........fine

 **Lucy:** You are such a softy Danvers

 **Alex:** NO

 **Lucy:** FBI Agent Undercover Softy

 **Alex:** STOP

 **Lucy:** In the name of love......

 **Kara:** I think we should take turns introducing ourselves 

**Maggie:** What is this, an AA meeting?

 **James:** We all know each other

 **Kara:** :(

 **Alex:** FINE!

 **Kara:** Say your name and something interesting about yourself

 **Lucy:** Hi my name is Alex and I'm a hot mess express

 **Alex:** Hi Alex, I'm Lucy and I once hooked up with Aquaman at my sister's birthday party

 **Lucy:** ........how do you know that?

 **Alex:** It's in your file

 **Lucy:** I really need to read that thing

 **Maggie:** You hooked up with the guy who talks to fish?

 **Lucy:** He was hot........until the incident

 **Maggie:** The incident?

 **Lucy:** The fishstick funeral incident 

**James:** As in.....

 **Lucy:** Exactly what it sounds like

 **James:** Oh

 **Lucy:** Yep

 **Maggie:** Hi, I'm Maggie and I don't know why I'm here

 **Kara:** Cause.........

 **Maggie:** Cause?

 **Kara:** Alex and Maggie sitting in a tree

 **Lucy:** S-H-O-O-T-I-N-G

 **Maggie:** Babe.....should I be worried?

 **Alex:** Yes

 **Lucy:** HA.......BABE!!

 **Lucy:** You guys are so gay!

 **Maggie:** That's kinda the point

 **Lena:** Speaking of gay.....

 **Lena:** Hi, my name is Lena and you are currently interrupting a very important business deal

 **Kara:** Ooh what kind of deal?

 **Lena:** A purchase

 **Alex:** Well that's not vaguely ominous 

**James:** What are you buying?

 **Lena:** It starts with a 'B' and ends with an 'ING'

 **Lucy:** HOLY SHIT!!! You're buying a Boeing?

 **Lena:** What?

 **Lena:** No

 **Lena:** I already have one

 **Lucy:** You are sickening 

**Lucy:** I wish I was you

 **Kara:** Is it bling, because you already have a lot of that

 **Lena:** No

 **Kara:** Okay, keep your secrets..... for now

 **Lena:**...........seriously?

 **James:** Hi, my name Jeff

 **James:** Sorry autocorrect, I meant James

 **Lucy:** And I have a Krytonian kink

 **James:** IT'S NOT A KINK!!

 **Lucy:** ..........m'kay

 **Lena:** Aren't we missing someone?

 **Alex:** I don't think so

 **Kara:** Alex, Lucy, Maggie, Lena, James and me, that's everyone right?

 **Lucy:** Nah, someone is definitely missing 

**Kara:** OH SNAP!! 

**Kara:** We totally did forget someone

 **Kara:** I'll add them right now

 **Mercy:** Yes?

 **Kara:** Hey, welcome to the first official Super Friends Group Chat!

 **Mercy:** No

 **Mercy:** I'm deleting this group

 **Kara:** You can't do that

 **Mercy:** Watch me

 **Winn:** Hackerman is here!!!!

 **Winn:** Guys?

 **Winn:** Guys?

 **Winn:** Seriously?

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has stayed with this crackful wreck until the end. I hope it hasn't hit your sanity too hard.


End file.
